Quite a nice piece by Marina....She said ...Lately I have become nostalgic for the 'normal times'. I'm not sure how to define that except to say that those were the times when we Malaysians hung out with each other without things like race and religion constantly hanging over our heads...
Monday, September 1, 2008
Communing over Cupcakes
(Wondermilk's delicious cupcakes with Bunga Raya and mini-Jalur Gemilangs on them)
http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/2008/09/communing-over-cupcakes.html
Hi folks, I meant to write something for Merdeka yesterday but my Merdeka Day wasn't very free so I never found the time. Today however, being the first day of Ramadhan and a public holiday, leaves some room for reflection and thoughts.
I started off my Aug 31 by sending out some smses to friends wishing them 'independence in mind and spirit'. I have to say that this year I wasn't inspired to send out many greetings at all. But I did decide to once again have my annual neighbourhood Merdeka tea party at home. Found some great Merdeka-themed cupcakes at Wondermilk in Damansara Uptown, fried some cempedak goreng and keropok lekor and that was more than enough to set the scene.
I live in a small cul-de-sac with only eight houses. Some of my neighbours have lived here all their lives while some are much newer. I have been here 14 years myself. This tea started last year for our 50th anniversary and I thought it was a new tradition well worth keeping. Besides, the string of flags I put up last year haven't come down yet!
My neighbours comprise four Indian families, one Chinese one and us, the sole Malay one. The other two houses are rented out and are currently empty or just rented out to people we haven't met yet. I can't say that we are a close-knit neighbourhood but since the tea last year (and another one on New Year's Day), we have gotten to know one another , which is nice.
At tea we chat about every day things, about our neighbourhood, about our kids and, being Malaysians after all, about food. It's lovely and friendly and makes me nostalgic for my childhood in Alor Setar when we knew our mixed neighbourhood as well.
One thing that always comes up is education. My neighbours have put their kids in national schools because they reasoned that if they survived it themselves, then their children can as well. But they have to put up with some ridiculous things.
My neighbour's son's school, for instance, insists on stereotyping their pupils by race when it comes to sports. So only Malays can play football while Punjabis must play hockey and Chinese play badminton. Even if the kids have no talent or interest for any of these games, those are the ones they have to play. One Punjabi child loved chess but was forced to play hockey!!! It somehow makes you understand a little better why we don't do well in sports internationally, if we insist on forcing square people into round holes they can't fit into.
The school must obviously be one that doesn't make sports a priority. Instead it's all about making sure that they get as many children scoring 5As in the UPSR as possible. With the exams a little more than a week away, children are given all sorts of Kelas Tambahan both in the afternoon and at night. The night ones can extend way past children's bedtimes, and it's not as if there is no homework to do as well. Some of the wiser parents have told their kids to relax and not stress themselves out too much but sometimes the kids put pressure on themselves to constantly be at their books, even having nightmares about their exams.
I really have to admire parents who have maintained their children in the national schools, especially when they are not Malays. My daughter spent eight months in a national school before we had to pull her out. We had become increasingly alarmed at the type of racial-toned language she had started to use. Obviously she was being indoctrinated every day with the idea of racial superiority of only one community, hers. We felt we could not counter this effectively ourselves so eventually transfered her to a private school. It's not perfect and we were very sad to have to do it but we really didn't want her to grow up in that toxic environment.
What is interesting is that I met the parents of one of her former schoolmates and they said that she loved the school. Thinking about it, I realised that perhaps in our schools today, Muslim kids and non-Muslim kids are having very different experiences. The Muslim kids were constantly subject to endless religious classes as well as constant talk about the difference ( and yes, the superiority) between them and their non-Muslim schoolmates. While non-Muslim kids generally have a more 'normal' school life where they are pretty much left alone to pursue all regular school activities so they like school better.
Lately I have become nostalgic for the 'normal times'. I'm not sure how to define that except to say that those were the times when we Malaysians hung out with each other without things like race and religion constantly hanging over our heads. When we weren't leaden with 'sensitivities' so much that they stifled normal relationships. I had no qualms in my childhood of going to play in my Chinese neighbour's home and eating whatever was on offer as long as it wasn't pork. But these days, people even hesitate to enter a non-Muslim home as if the air in it will somehow shake their faith. My Chinese and Indian friends knew what I could or could not eat and would simply point out what was Ok and what was not on the buffet table. I simply trusted their hospitality. I don't understand the constant air of suspicion that arises these days, especially among the young.
